We used to talk everyday. I can’t live without talking to you. But now, everything has changed. And we barely talk to each other. Now fuck it.
Somewhere in between our laughter and tears, I already fell. And I can’t help but to feel stupid.
One thing I’ve learned throughout the discourse of my tumblr life is: accepting everything as it is. There’s a common misconception here on tumblr. Probably most of you here thought that this site has changed, that the old tumblr has gone for good. Most of you were already smother by the idea of the new tumblr. But you are so wrong. This place is still our home, our sanctuary, our asylum. We are just blinded by our own insecurities. We envy those bloggers who can bleed beautiful words, who gained a lot of friends, who summoned their thoughts and strength, who can create prose and poetry. But this isn’t a competition at all. We are family here. We should love, not destroy each other. If you feel like throwing up your insides and you can’t do anything about it, you can use it as an escape. But if you don’t feel like you don’t belong here anymore, just leave. I’m not saying that you should deactivate. What I’m trying to say is have your own life. If you feel like suffocated in this blogging site, then seek the real world. And that real world is not here, it’s the life beyond here. You can do everything you want. Excel in your studies. Enjoy your social life, your kinship, your friendship and your relationship with people. If you think that the only way of evading your demons inside your head became the monster itself, then unwind. Just don’t deactivate. Just don’t make a choice that will eventually eat you up. You’ll regret it, I swear.
As a college student you’re either struggling academically, financially, or spiritually. Or all 3
I'm still waiting. Tho I don't know exactly what I'm waiting for.
When you read this, be thankful. It’s a blessing. Don’t ever forget to be grateful. Good morning! :)
Him: I will never get tired of you, I promise.
Her: No, don't promise me that because you don't know yet what it's like to stay with me. You are not aware of my mood swings, of how often I degrade myself or blame myself for being left behind all the time. You have not been exposed to my dark side, that side of me which eats up all the happiness I am bound to feel, that side of me which leaves me empty and hollow inside every night. You don't know how depressed I am, or how often I struggle to not become a burden to the few people who managed to stay even if it hurts them, even if it's hard. I am a difficult person to deal with. I mess everything up every time. I shut people out. I push them away. So stop telling me all those promises because even I get tired of myself sometimes. What kind of assurance can you guarantee me that you won't?
Srsly, if you don’t like being with me all the time, just say so. I’d rather keep my distance from you than to feel unworthy beside you.
People often misunderstand my silence as an act of rudeness. You can say that, but not really. I’m not much of a talker and babbler, I admit it. But I prefer to listen to people’s endless stories than to tell my own story. I’d rather sit on my own in a very serene place than to mingle with a lot of people. Just the thought of it makes me exhausted. I’d rather hear the demons in my head and contemplate on my thoughts. I think, silence is a way of composing myself from the crudeness of the world.